为什么一些亚洲人不直接表达浪漫的感情_风闻

【来源龙腾网】

正文原创翻译：

For some Asians, showing physical affection and love doesn’t come easy.

对一些亚洲人来说，用身体上的行为来表达感情和爱并不容易。

For some stereotypical Asians, expressing intimacy like holding hands, hugging and kissing feels hard and is both unnatural and uneasy.

对于一些刻板的亚洲人来说，表达亲密关系，如牵手、拥抱和亲吻等感觉很困难，既不自然又不舒服。

Different people show love differently. Some people show love through open physical affection. Others don’t openly show love and show love through non-physical affection instead, which is what many Asians prefer.

不同的人表达爱的方式不同。有些人公开用身体上的行为来表达爱意。另一些人则不喜欢公开用身体上的行为表达爱意，而是通过非身体上的情感来表达爱意，这是许多亚洲人更喜欢的方式。

All throughout school in Malaysia and Singapore, my Chinese-Malaysian parents wagged the finger at dating and romantic escapades. Physical contact with any classmate whom I fancied was frowned upon.

在马来西亚和新加坡上学的整个过程中，我的华裔马来西亚父母总是对我的约会和浪漫行为指指点点。和任何我喜欢的同学有身体上的接触都是不被允许的。

My parents themselves didn’t show physical affection openly between each other. My parents also didn’t say ‘I love you’ to me or hugged me as a kid.

我的父母彼此之间并没有公开用身体上的行为来表达感情。我的父母也没有对我说过“我爱你”，也没有在我小的时候拥抱过我。

原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

When it comes to expressing love by the means of touch, at times we hold back because of what we’ve always known.

当我们用相互触碰来表达爱的时候，有时我们会因为我们一直都知道的原因而退缩。

For some of us of Asian heritage, our conservative upbringing is one reason why we’re wary of physical romantic gestures. Our parents may have never advocated touchy-feely attitudes as something to be proud of. We may have grown up following a faith denouncing men/women/other genders as obxts of affection. Our religion might stress pre-marital sex and hence physical affection is taboo.

对于一些亚洲人来说，保守的成长环境是我们对身体上的浪漫举动持谨慎态度的原因之一。我们的父母可能从来不认为这种行为是值得骄傲的。我们可能在成长过程中遵循着一种信仰，这种信仰不提倡把其他男性/女性/其他性别当做是情感的对象。这种信仰可能不允许婚前性行为，因为身体上的感情是禁忌。

原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

In Malaysia, collectivistic cultures are championed in the Muslim-majority country with codes of conduct around public displays of affection. For example, Muslim girls have been threatened with arrest after hugging K-pop band members.

在马来西亚这个穆斯林占多数的国家，集体主义文化受到国家的支持，在公共场合表达爱意时有着特定的行为准则。例如，穆斯林女孩因拥抱韩国流行乐队的成员而被逮捕。

Also, historically Confucianism patriarchy was advocated since the Eastern Zhou Dynasty. During the revolutionary Mao era, Chinese men and women were comrades and wore unisex army suits. They were not supposed to be lovers; intimacy was seen as a duty for procreation.

此外，在中国的历史上，儒教的父权思想自东周以来一直被提倡。在中国的革命时代，中国的男女们都是同志，穿着男女通用的军装。他们不提倡恋人关系，双方形成亲密关系是为了履行繁衍后代的责任。

Accordingly another reason some Asians don’t openly show love is because showing physical affection feels embarrassing and foreign. It’s something we’re shy about, unfamiliar with or we don’t see as a respectful move towards the one we fancy.

此外，一些亚洲人不公开表达爱意的另一个原因是，用身体上的行为来爱意会让人感到尴尬。这是人们感到害羞的、不熟悉的事情，或者人们认为这不是对所喜欢的人的一种尊重。

Some Asians perceive love as acts of service. To many with the typical Asian mindset, love is more than hands all over each other. Love is practical and something that you willingly give your time for someone.

一些亚洲人认为爱是一种服务行为。对于许多典型的亚洲人来说，爱不仅仅是身体上的相互碰触。爱是更实际的东西，是你心甘情愿地为某人付出。

For instance, for many Asians love is putting food on the table and building for family. Many Japanese men work round the clock for a living to provide for their family and see their loved ones once in a while. One becomes familiarly acquainted with physical distance in the realm of love, and that is love.

例如，对许多亚洲人来说，爱是把食物放在桌子上，是为家人提供住所。许多日本男人为了生计夜以继日地工作，以养活他们的家庭，只能偶尔见见他们所爱的人。双方在爱的领域里习惯了身体上的距离，但他们认为那就是爱。

In this competitive world where many hardworking Asians have countless goals in life, romance and showing romantic intimacy might get put on hold as we better ourselves. These days many Asian women or ‘shengnu’ (剩女) women are embracing the single life, living independently, embracing their sexuality and doing without physical affection as they live the lives they want to live.

在这个竞争激烈的世界里，许多努力工作的亚洲人在生活中有无数的目标，一些表现浪漫的行为可能会被搁置，因为他们要抓紧时间提升自己。如今，许多亚洲女性(或称“剩女”)开始接受独立的单身生活，淡化自己的性取向，过着自己想要的生活，而不需要身体上的感情。

原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.cn 转载请注明出处

That said, matchmaking is still common in Asia and some Asians don’t mind being set up with potential partners this way. If You Are The One is China’s top dating show and it sees male professionals facing off with single women. They women decide if the male bachelors are ‘date-worthy’ based on a series of interviews and talent stages.

尽管如此，相亲在亚洲仍然很普遍，一些亚洲人并不介意以这种方式与潜在的伴侣建立联系。非诚勿扰是中国最受欢迎的相亲节目，在节目中，男嘉宾和单身女性们展开了一场激烈的对决。她们会根据一系列的面试和男嘉宾的才艺秀来判断他是否“值得约会”。

Therefore, in Chinese culture courtship and playing hard to get is quite the norm before two parties get physical. At times the courtship phase is also a way to show someone you care about them and love them.

因此，在中国文化中，在双方发生身体接触之前，求爱和欲擒故纵是相当正常的。有时候，求爱阶段的表现也是一种表达你关心对方、爱对方的方式。

Quite commonly a Chinese person might have a set of standards they look for in a potential partner. If these are stickler of standards, it might be a while before one is comfortable showing physical intimacy. As philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche said on loving someone:

中国人在寻找潜在伴侣时通常会有一套标准。如果这些标准都被严格的遵循，那么双方可能需要一段时间才能大方地表现出身体上的亲密。正如哲学家尼采在看待如何爱一个人时所说:

‘There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.’

“爱情总有些疯狂。但疯狂也总有它的原因。”

Moreover, while the Chinese phrase ‘wǒ ài nǐ’ (我爱你) is translated as ‘I love you’, it is a phrase of formality and commitment. Thus it is not generally heard every day or used after a first date. Also in high context cultures such as Chinese cultures, people don’t say thing specifically but derive meaning and meanings of words from context.

此外，在中文里，“我爱你”是一个正式表达出自己的承诺的句子。因此，你一般不会在每天都听到这句话，也不会在第一次约会之后就使用这句话。同样，在中国文化等高语境文化中，人们不会明确地说出某件事，而是需要对方从语境中揣度出说话者的真实的想法。

Not every single Asian is hesitant expressing physical love. Some are all for physical intimacy and public displays of affection at any time. Couples of Asian heritage holding hands are a common sight here in Melbourne. How each individual warms to one-on-one touch ultimately depends on what they believe in, the company they keep and their personalities.

并不是每个亚洲人都对用身体上的行为来表达爱犹豫不决。有些人也喜欢身体上的亲密行为和在任何时候公开表达爱意。在墨尔本，有亚洲血统的夫妇手拉手是很常见的。每个人是否愿意和对方发生身体上的接触最终取决于他们的信仰，他们的同伴和他们的个性。

Notably, physical affection can either be a manifestation of lust or a manifestation of true love. Showing affection can be a calculated move or an unconscious move. Either way, they tend to be moments we remember.

值得注意的是，用身体上的行为来表达爱既可以是欲望的表现，也可以是真爱的表现。表达爱意可以是精心策划的行为，也可以是无意识的行为。不管怎样，它们往往是我们值得回味的时刻。

Physical affection is never the means to an end to any relationship in any culture. At the end of the day many of us long to connect with others not just physically but emotionally, as author Tahereh Mafi wrote:

在任何文化中，身体上的触碰都不是双方关系的最终目标。在一天结束的时候，我们中的许多人都渴望与喜欢的人建立联系，不仅仅是身体上的，更是情感上的，正如作家塔赫里.马菲所写的:

‘All I ever wanted was to reach out and touch another human being not just with my hands but with my heart.’

“我一直想要的就是伸出手去触摸另一个人，不仅仅是用我的手，还要用我的心。”

We might remember moments of affection because we believe these moments could very well bring us closer to someone for the reasons we hope.

我们可能会记住这些表达感情的时刻，因为我们相信这些时刻可以很好地拉近我们与某人的距离，而这正是我们所希望的。

For some of us, maybe we aren’t keen on physical affection because we’re shy, private and perceive love in other ways. Or maybe we’re inclined to wait because every bit of affection, given and received, is something special to us.

对于我们中的一些人来说，也许我们不热衷于用身体上的行为来表达爱，因为我们很害羞，并试图以其他方式来感知爱意。或者有的人更倾向于等待，因为每一点爱，无论是付出还是接受，对我们来说都是弥足珍贵的。

Do you show physical affection to the one you love?

你会用身体上的行为来对你爱的人表达爱意吗?