QA问答：大多数西方父母会在孩子18岁时，就让孩子搬出去，这是真的吗？_风闻

【来源龙腾网】

评论原创翻译：

Corwyn B

This is not generally true in France or the USA.

Of course, I moved out about 3 weeks before my 18th birthday and hardly came back until I was in graduate school, but that was my choice — my 2 elder siblings had left, but there were 5 still at home and I needed a big dose of solitude.

But most kids don’t do that. I managed to support myself through school, but it was hard. It’s nice for many young adults to be able to go back home until they are independent in the world. And most parents permit it.

在法国或美国，通常不是这样的。

不过，我是在18岁生日的前3周搬了出去的，直到考上研究所才回来的，但这是我个人的选择——我的两个哥哥和姐姐也搬走了，但家里还有5个人，我想要一段独处时光。

但大多数孩子不会这么做。我自己想办法养活自己，完成了我的学业，这很艰难。对于许多年轻人来说，在他们能够完全独立之前可以有回家的选择是件好事。而且大多数父母都允许他们这样做。

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Lily Temmer

Everything was cheaper then ( like rent- even adjusted for inflation), so it was possible to live alone.

那时，一切都很便宜（比如房租——就算考虑到通货膨胀也是便宜的），所以可以独自生活。

Corwyn B

I had to share apartments with friends for years to make ends meet until I was in graduate school and actually had a (sort of) part time job that paid decent money.

During undergraduate school, it was a challenge. I would do all sorts of jobs to earn sufficient funds to supplement my scholarships. The one that paid the best was working on a loading dock at night. Not recommended, but it worked for me.

多年来，我不得不和朋友合租公寓以维持生计，直到我上研究生院，实际上有了一份（某种）兼职工作，薪水不错。

在本科期间，这是一个挑战。我会做各种各样的工作赚取足够的资金来补充我的奖学金。报酬最高的是晚上在装卸码头工作。不推荐，但对我很有用。

Erich Walrath

I was.

I was unprepared at the time. But I managed. I had to learn pretty much everything from the fact that I had to pay bills, to learning to drive, to how to hold onto a job on my own.

This was at the tail end of the boomer generation. Thankfully it was in the mid-seventies, I lived near a university, which meant that a huge bulk of the local population was around my age. Finding roommates who were smarter than me was a Godsend.

我就是。

当时我没有做好准备。但我成功了。我必须学习几乎所有的东西，我必须支付账单，必须学习开车，必须学习如何独自保住工作。

这是婴儿潮一代的末期。值得庆幸的是，那是在70年代中期，我住在一所大学附近，这意味着当地大部分人都和我差不多大。找到比我聪明的室友真是意外的好运。

I got a lot of help from the local hippies, lived in a series of cooperatives, and, outside of a bed, some clothes, access to a bathroom and a kitchen, and a stereo, didn’t need much. I ultimately put myself through a state university in my mid-late 20’s. That’s also when I bought my first car.

Tossing your kid out at 18 without support is abuse. OTOH, my home situation had become so weird, I would have left on my own. I told my own son that he will always have a home. Unfortunately, that home was in Indiana, and he was determined to make one of his own in San Francisco - which he did at sixteen, (albeit with fairly considerable assistance from me).

我得到了当地嬉皮士的很多帮助，住在一系列合作社里，除了床，一些衣服，浴室和厨房，还有立体声音响，不需要更多了。我最终在20多岁的中后期考上了一所州立大学。那时候也是我买第一辆车的时候。

在没有支持的情况下把你的孩子扔出去是一种虐待。另一方面，我是因为家庭状况变得非常奇怪，自己选择离开的。我告诉我自己的儿子，他的家永远都在。不幸的是，那所房子在印第安纳州，他决定在旧金山自己建一所房子——他十六岁时就这样做了（尽管得到了我相当大的帮助）。

Krister Sundelin

Hello, Xinyu !

Q: Is it true that most Western parents kick their kid out at the age of 18?

A: Most of the time, the kid moves out by themselves.

Q: How does the child survive?

A: Legally, they’re adult at age 18, so it’s no longer a child. Practically, they study at university or get a job.

你好，Xinyu !

问： 大多数西方父母在孩子18岁时就把孩子踢出去，这是真的吗？

答： 大多数时候，孩子是自己搬出去的。

问： 这个孩子要怎么活下来？

答： 从法律上讲，他们在18岁时已经成年，所以不再是孩子了。实际上，他们在大学学习或去找一份工作。

Mats Andersson

No, it’s not true. At all. I have only heard of one single case among all the people I know, and that was because she asked her father to sober up; he was not exactly the best of fathers. (They mended their relation later.)

Lots of 18-year-olds want to move out, though, and it’s seen as an appropriate age to do that.

The thing is, of course, that they can’t really do that until they can support themselves. So it really means either a job, or university studies.

不，这不是真的。我认识的所有人中，我只听到过一个案列，那是因为她要求父亲醒酒，他并不是个好父亲。他们后来修复了关系。

不过，很多18岁的年轻人都想搬出去，他们认为这是一个合适的年龄。

当然，问题是，在他们能够养活自己之前，他们无法真正做到这一点。因此，这实际上意味着要么去工作，要么去大学学习。

Joan Vredik Broadley

I actually knew two young people who were both kicked out by a step-parent. One was my brother’s 16-year-old girlfriend (don’t panic, he was the same age) who went to our local welfare office and got help to rent an apartment and stay in high school. The other was my son’s friend who was kicked out at age 18 but managed to go on to trade school with the help of a provincial bursary program. Luckily we live in a Canadian province that provides some support for struggling young people to continue their education.

事实上，我认识两个年轻人，他们都被继父母踢了出去。其中一个是我哥哥16岁的女朋友（别慌，我哥哥当时和她同龄），她去了我们当地的福利办公室，得到了帮助，租了一套公寓，继续上高中。另一个是我儿子的朋友，他在18岁时被开除，但在省级助学金项目的帮助下，他成功地进入了贸易学校。幸运的是，我们生活在加拿大的一个省，该省为苦苦挣扎的年轻人继续接受教育提供了一些支持。

Glyndŵr Davies

None of my five children have been asked to leave, kicked out or expected to leave, they all did so in their own time but all between 19 and 22.

All rented places initially and some of them came back while between rentals and between a rental and buying their first homes.

And they have bought their own homes, not relied on a spouse to help with the economy, other than my second daughter, married at 19 to a man who already owned his own. She is the only married one. Her elder sister and one of her brothers are divorced,

youngest son and daughter never married but bought their own homes anyway.

None of them are highly paid except eldest son. Just normal wage earners.

我的五个孩子，没有一个被要求离开、踢出或被期望离开，他们都是在自己选择的时间离开的，都是在19岁到22岁之间。

最开始，他们都是租房住，其中有人在租房、买房之间来回。

最后，他们买了自己的房子，他们不依赖配偶提供经济帮助，除了我的第二个女儿。我的二女儿在19岁的时候嫁给了一个有房的男人。她是唯一一个已婚的人。她的姐姐和她的一个兄弟离婚了。最小的儿子和女儿从未结婚，但还是买了自己的房子。

除了长子之外，他们都没有高薪，只是普通工薪阶层。

Andrei Ma

No more true than that other belief commonly held by Asians: that westerners also “kick out” their elderly parents into nursing homes. I think they just don’t get the concept of “personal autonomy” as it is practised in the so-called Western world. For the most part, adults *choose* not to live with their parents, no one’s kicking anyone out and people decide for themselves where they want to live! Until they lose capacity, at which point a decision is usually made “in their best interests”. I’ve banged my head against a brick wall many times trying to explain this concept to my Asian relatives living in Asia… But no, they just don’t “get it” (cue sociological arguments about communal vs individualistic societies that go way over my head lol)

亚洲人还普遍持有的另一种信念是：西方人会把年迈的父母“踢”进养老院。我认为他们只是没有理解西方世界的“个人自主”概念。在大多数情况下，成年人*选择*不与父母住在一起，没有人会把任何人踢出去，人们自己决定他们要住在哪里！在他们失去能力之前，通常会“为了他们的最大利益”做出决定。我曾经多次绞尽脑汁，试图和亚洲的亲戚们解释这个概念……但，他们不能“明白”。（提示：关于社区与个人主义社会的社会学争论，我难以理解，哈哈）