有哪些东西是你这辈子都在避免的？_风闻

【来源龙腾网】

评论原创翻译：

CLAPtrapTHEMCHEEKS

Shitting outside. Not much of an accomplishment but during my employment for the US forest service I came upon the realization that I’ve never shit in the woods and I’d like to keep that streak going

在户外拉屎。虽然不算是什么成就，不过在联邦林业局工作期间，我突然发现我从来没在树林里拉过屎。我挺愿意把这个记录保持下去的。

Sparkletail

The best shit I ever had was during a run in the countryside. I hopped over the gate into a field with a load of sheep and the view was beautiful, the day was warm and I just felt like I was going back to nature like my ancestors lol. I wiped down with some dock leaves with light dew which are basically a perfect wet wipe substitute and then there running water to wash my hands. It was like god looked down that day and said here’s the perfect shit for you, you deserve it.

我拉过的最爽的一泡屎就是在乡下跑步的时候。我跨过栅栏门跑进一片田野，田野上有一群羊，景色非常美丽。那一天很暖和，我觉得我简直要像祖先那样回归自然了。我用羊蹄叶擦的屁股，上面还沾着一点露水，是非常完美的开腚纸替代品，那里还有流水给我洗手。当时感觉简直像是上帝那天俯身看了我一眼，然后跟我说送你一次完美的拉屎体验吧，这是你应得的。

cboy6_9

Kidney stones.

肾结石。

I had problems getting on the right medication. Found one 5 years where the biggest side effect is kidney stones. Thank the lord it hasn’t happened…yet

我之前吃错了药。五年之后发现那个药最大的副作用是肾结石。谢天谢地我还没得过……

AJohnsonOrange

It is fucking HORRIBLE. Not to scare you, but I was in pain for about 3 months. It was insane. It’s literally the most painful thing that’s happened to me. I even had a mother of 2 with cancer say “I don’t envy you, they’re so painful it’s horrible” which made me feel even worse.

太他妈痛苦了。我真的不吓你，我忍了三个月的剧痛。简直让人发疯。真的是我这辈子经历过的最痛苦的事。甚至有个得了癌症的两个孩子的母亲，跟我说“我一点都不嫉妒你，太痛苦了太可怕了”，这让我觉得更糟糕了。

Apparently there’s a high chance that once you have one another will come along fairly quickly due to…y’know…there still being plaque in there and man, I am NOT looking forward to that. The moment I feel it I’m running to the doc and begging them for one of those fancy sound wave pulveriser things.

显然如果你曾经得过一次肾结石的话，那么下一块会很快找上门来，因为……你那里还留着空斑，天哪我可不盼着这种事情发生。要是我感觉又结了一块，我会立刻跑到大夫那里去，让他们给我弄那个超声波碎石的玩意儿。

supermarketsushiroll

Same.

俺也一样。

I had a kidney stone and I asked the nurse in all seriousness if I was going to die. I went from eating lunch to thinking I had to go to the bathroom to saying, “This is it. This is where I die” and profusely sweating so much I was dripping onto the sidewalk and strangers were asking to help me in the span of like 3 minutes. The pain is that bad. Anyone who hasn’t had one: consider yourselves very lucky.

我之前得过一次肾结石，当时我非常严肃地问大夫我是不是要死了。我从出门准备吃午饭，变成觉得自己可能得去趟洗手间，又变成自己对自己说“完蛋了，我就要死在这儿了”，出汗出到三分钟之内汗滴在了人行道上，陌生人过来问我需不需要帮助。痛苦就有这么严重。没得过肾结石的兄弟们：你们应该认为自己非常幸运。

HeyJenItsBrett

I’m 38 - I’ve never been stung by a bee or a wasp. They seem to be naturally repelled from my skin.

我今年38岁——我这辈子从没被蜜蜂或黄蜂咬过。我的皮肤好像对他们有种自然的驱散作用。

Mosquitoes on the other hand…

但蚊子呢，就……

ckelly702

Cancer

癌症

Weak_Carpenter_7060

It comes when you least expect it

它会在你觉得最不可能的时候找上你。

UlrichZauber

So if I just expect it slightly more each day, I’m safe?

所以只要我每天都比前一天都觉得更有可能得癌症，我就安全了？

OpenNooby

no, that would mean you would get it right now

不，那你会立刻得上。

Hojbjerg1882

Quite a few of my professors (biotech degree) worked in cancer research. They’ve all said that basically if you live a long enough, healthy enough life, cancer will get you in the end. The only way you don’t get cancer is if something else gets you first. They also all agreed the only two things you should really, really concern yourself about in regards to avoiding cancer are - don’t smoke/chew/use tobacco and don’t tan. Everything else is negligible, so don’t sweat all those sensational news stories about studies that say hot beverages cause throat cancer or using dryer sheets causes cancer. As one of them liked to say, “Life causes cancer.”

我有不少教授（生物科技领域）都在做癌症方面的研究。他们都说总地来说只要你活得足够长，足够健康，那么癌症早晚会找上你的。你唯一不得癌症的方法就是先得个别的大病。他们还认为假如你真的，真的不想得癌症的话，那么只有两件事是你一定要避免的：别吸烟/嚼烟叶/使用烟草制品，以及别晒日光浴。其他所有的因素都可以忽视，所以别被新闻里说的那些热饮导致喉癌啊或者用烘干纸致癌啊之类的研究吓到。我有个教授很喜欢说，“生命本身就致癌。”

Edit: of course, this is not to say that if you are healthy and avoid those two things, you will NOT get cancer, just that those are the two things that almost definitely WILL get you cancer. As well all know, sometimes cancer gets you anyway.

编辑：当然，我的意思不是假如你足够健康并避免这两件事，你就不会患上癌症。我的意思是这两件事是一定会让你患上癌症的。正如我们都知道的，有时候不管怎么样你都会得癌症。

MakinItUp1SecAtATime

Incarceration

入狱

DevilRenegade

This. I got arrested and locked in a police cell overnight for a bogus drink driving charge and it’s pretty terrifying.

没错。我有一次因为酒驾被逮捕了，并且在看守所被关了一晚，很吓人。

I was only in the cell for about 8 hours but it felt like a lifetime. I couldn’t imagine a long prison sentence.

我只在牢房里呆了八个小时，但感觉像是过了一辈子。我根本想象不了服刑很长时间将会是什么样的生活。