谁更容易受到分手的影响，男孩还是女孩？_风闻

【来源龙腾网】

正文原创翻译：

1、 Vasista V, BSc Horti from University of Horticultural Science Bagalkot (2019)

Whether Boy or a girl both gets affected by breakup because they share their feelings emotions and dreams of future in themselves

but during initial stage of breakup …girls are the one who are more depressed than boys … Because girls have figured out their future in their love and they have their own world of dream in which they constructed beautiful future about their child , midmarriage days , and even about old age…..

But boys feel they were free of all the problems whwcw usually imposed by their girlfriend…..during initial days of breakup…

无论男孩还是女孩都会受到分手的影响，因为他们彼此分享自己的情感和未来梦想。

但是在分手的最初阶段，女孩比男孩更沮丧。因为女孩们已经在爱情中找到了自己的未来，她们有自己的梦想世界，在这个世界里，她们为自己的孩子、婚姻中期甚至老年时期构建了美好的未来。

但是在分手的头几天，男孩们感觉到他们摆脱了通常由女友施加的所有麻烦。

But over days passing girl starts to forget all the things cause she has pressure from their surrounding that she should show she is strong and is not that type to sit and cry over same problem for years together…

But boys gets deppressed and even urges to get his girlfriend back….

After considering all the situations its a clear fact that Boys (not talking about the casanova one ) get affected or hurt more than girls after break up.

但随着时间的推移，女孩开始忘记所有的事情，因为她有来自周围的压力，她应该表现出她自己的坚强，不是那种坐着为同一个问题而哭泣多年的类型。

但是男孩们会感到沮丧，甚至渴望找回他的女朋友。

在考虑了所有的情况之后，一个明显的事实是，男孩（不是说浪荡公子）在分手后比女孩更容易受到影响或收到伤害。

Because

1. Girls are more expressive than boys: Girls express their feelings quite easily than boys. They are very good at discussing issues but boys are very secretive about their break ups. They don’t want to discuss these freely with anyone. Rather than discussing with anyone they use intoxicating things to forget the past (which never happens).

2. Girls have more company than boys: willingly or unwillingly girls have much more people to listen their problems very patiently and calmly but boys don’t have much people to share with in most of the cases.

因为：

1.女孩比男孩更善于表达：女孩比男孩更容易表达感情。他们很善于讨论问题，但男孩们对他们的分手却讳莫如深。他们不想和任何人自由讨论这些问题。他们没有与任何人讨论，而是使用令人陶醉的事物来忘记过去（其实永远不会忘记）。

2.女孩比男孩有更多的伙伴：无论是自愿还是不情愿，女孩都有更多的人可以非常耐心、冷静地倾听自己的问题，但在大多数情况下，男孩没有多少人可以分享。

Boys are more engrossed than girls: Believe me I have seen it in many relationship that after a considerate time boys are much more engrossed in a serious relationship rather than girls. After being physical in a relationship boys become more loyal & start seeing future with them. On the other side now a days girls (not all of them but most of them) dont want to think that much things, they live their life in current.

All of the above reasons are based on the modern and developing society being made in our new India. There may be few exceptions but i have noticed these things in most of the cases in my surroundings.

But one thing please never loose the one you love …. Have patience hold the nerves and stick on to your love…. Love to live

男孩比女孩更专注：相信我，我在很多恋爱关系中都看到过，经过一段深思熟虑的时间后，男孩比女孩更专注于认真的恋爱关系。在建立感情关系后，男孩们变得更加忠诚，并开始展望他们的未来。另一方面，如今的女孩们（不是所有的，但大多数）不想思考那么多事情，她们活在当下。

以上原因都是基于我们印度正在形成一个现代化和发展中的新社会。可能存在少许例外，但大多数情况下，我已经注意到这些事情发生在我的身边。

但有一件事请就是永远不要失去你所爱的人。要有耐心，保持勇气，坚持你所爱的，并热爱生活。

2、Saurav Singh Rathore, If My Ideas Don’t Work, Sue Me. 如果我的想法不起作用，请起诉我。

Well, to be very frank, boys show more than girls do, but actually feels less.

I’ll be telling about an incident which will explain everything you crave to know.

There was a famous couple in my school, they were together for like 3 years. Both of them were my close friends. So, I can explain you from both the point of views.

好吧，坦白说，男孩比女孩表现得多（受到影响），但实际上感觉不到。

我来讲述一个事件，它能解释你想知道的一切。

我的学校里有一对很有名的夫妇，他们在一起大概3年了。他们俩都是我的好朋友。所以，我可以从这两个角度来向你解释。

So, the thing was, they both broke up after 4 years, and both of them came to me eventually. Not for a patch up, but for a companion in lonely time.

He cried alot, he used to tell me how they both met, they got committed, they came close and everything. He said he never wanted this, due to the circumstances it all happened and he couldn’t help it. He cried for a month. He related everything with her and somehow used to get upset, down. It seemed like, he would never come out of this phase. The whole college knew now what he was going through, everyone used to sympathize with him.

他们在交往4年后都分手了，最终他们俩都来找我。不是为了弥补，而是为了找一个孤独的时候的伴侣。

他哭了很多次，他常常告诉我他们是如何相遇的，他们是如何承诺的，他们是如何接近的，以及所有的一切。他说他从来都不想这样，因为当时的情况，一切都发生了，他无能为力。他哭了一个月。他把一切都和她联系在一起，不知怎么的，突然变得心烦意乱，情绪低落。看起来，他永远不会走出这个阶段。现在整个学院都知道他在经历什么，每个人都很同情他。

He was smart looking and moreover a boy. It was just 2 months when he got a new girlfriend. He said he loved her and she’s better than Anamika (Her ex). He always use to tell me that how his break-up was supposed to be for the best and how he’s so happy with Kanika (present gf). In the next 3 months he completely moved on off Anamika and now he only talks about Kanika.

On the other hand, Anamika, my other close friend, she has been completely a different person now. Since they broke up, she rarely talked about him with me, she was devastated. Whenever I used to pinch her to tell me about it, she always hesitated. But when she exploded one day, believe me, sky cried that day. She told me all and how she still loves him. She never ever told anyone else in the world about how she felt after that experience.

他是个帅气的男生。才过了两个月他就有了新女朋友。他说他爱她，她比安娜米卡（她的前任）要好。他总是告诉我，他的分手应该是最好的选择，他和卡尼卡（现在的女朋友）在一起很开心。在接下来的3个月里，他完全摆脱了安娜米卡的影响，现在他只谈论卡尼卡。

另一方面，我的另一个亲密朋友安娜米卡，她现在已经完全不同了。自从他们分手后，她很伤心，却很少和我谈论他。每当我让她告诉我这件事时，她总是犹豫不定。但有一天她爆发了，相信我，天空都哭了。她告诉了我一切，她仍然爱着他。她从来没有告诉世界上任何人她在那次经历后的感受。

She remained silent and never let anyone even think that she’s upset or sad. She kept it all inside her heart, in a corner somewhere. She posed strong in front of the world and never ever let herself feel bad about it in front of her best friends too.

So, for the world, she was a girl for whom that break up didn’t mean much. She was that ignorant types, strong, self reliant, she was ideal types. But with me, she was her, real her. I never again asked her what’s wrong, I just sat with her, I always knew the reason.

她保持沉默，从不让任何人觉得她很难过。她把这一切都藏在心里，藏在某个角落里。她在全世界面前摆出坚强的姿态，从不让自己在最好的朋友面前为此感到难过。

所以，对全世界来说，她是一个分手对她来说意义不大的女孩。她是自我忽略的那种人，坚强，自立，她是有自己想法的那种人。但对我来说，她就是她，真实的她。我不再问她怎么了，我只是坐在她身边，我一直都知道原因。

Even after 6 months of break up when this guy was having best time with Kanika, Anamika still expected him to come back, but he didn’t, neither would he.

So Friends, its not boys who feel much, it’s girls. You can’t even compare to what girls have for you. The affection they showed you, it was real and the best they had for you.

A boy may cry for a day or two…but a girl’s heart will cry forever. She may never love anyone else ever, the way she did before. Boys are nowhere near to girls in this.

Hope you are satisfied with the answer.

Thank You.

即使在分手6个月后，当这家伙和卡尼卡相处得很愉快时，安娜米卡仍然希望他能回来，但他没有，他也不会。

所以朋友们，不是男孩受到的影响更大，而是女孩。论付出也是女孩子付出东西更多。他们向您展示的情感，是真实的，也是他们给你的最好的情感。

一个男孩可能会哭一两天，但女孩的心会永远哭泣。她可能再也不会像以前那样爱上别人。在这一点上，男孩远比不上女孩。

希望你对答案满意。谢谢。

3、Rana Ashish, Senior Engineer || 8 Years Experience in Industry 高级工程师 || 8年行业经验

It’s quite a good question, but allow me to explain with a simple analogy.

I was using “Fevikwik”, a glue, which is quite powerful. A few drops fell on my fingers, and within few seconds of contact with air it became hard.

Now, I had two choices :-

1. Leave it as it is.

2. Remove that glue from my finger.

这是一个很好的问题，但请允许我用一个简单的类比来解释。

我曾用过“Fevikwik”，一种强力的胶水。几滴滴落在我的手指上，接触空气几秒钟就会变得很牢固。

现在，我有两个选择：-

1.保持原样。

2.把我手指上的胶水去掉。

Since it wasn’t harming me in anyway, I could have left it as it is. But any unwanted thing that sticks to you will keep bothering you. So I decided to remove it.

The glue was so strong, that while removing it, it also removed the first layer of my skin.

So here is the answer. The person who is not strong enough to let go, suffers more. Breakup, and its suffering, is not gender specific.

The relationship is dead like that glue.

· If you want to live with that, there is no harm. But also most of your attention will be taken by it. Once it is removed, it might take extra attention, but after sometime it won’t matter anymore.

既然这对我没什么坏处，我可以让它保持原样。但是任何粘在您身上的多余的东西都会一直困扰着你。所以我决定把它去掉。

胶水太强了，以至于在去除它的同时，也去掉了我的第一层皮肤。

所以答案就在这里。不能足够坚强去放手的人，会遭受更多的痛苦。分手及其痛苦，并不是针对性别的。

关系就像胶水一样死掉了。

·如果你愿意忍受，那就没有什么坏处。但你大部分的注意力都会被它吸引。一旦它被移除，它可能吸引力额外的注意力，但过了一段时间它就不再重要了。

· Since you are too attached, and you don’t want to let it go, then of course you will be the person on the receiving end like the finger.

· But if you see the removal of skin as harmful to you, then you should also see the bright side. It allows you to grow new skin. Same goes for life, if you don’t allow yourself to let go, you will never know about the surprise which is waiting for you.

· The person who decided to leave you is like the glue; “Hard”. It will not affect them as much as it is going to affect you. And once the relationship is dead, they are going to leave you anyway like the glue.

·既然你太执着了，而且不想放手，那么你当然会像手指一样受到伤害。

·但如果你认为去除皮肤对你有害，那么你也应该看到积极的一面。它能让你长出新的皮肤。人生也是如此，如果你不让自己放手，你永远不会知道等待你的惊喜是什么。

·决定离开你的人就像胶水一样“牢固”。一旦关系破裂，他们会像胶水一样离开你。

4、Rai Aishwarya, Born to make mistakes, not to fake perfection. 生来就是为了犯错误，而不是为了假装完美。

There’s a philosophy of the Settler and the Seeker. (and I’m not referring to the one quoted by Marshall in HIMYM since I haven’t watched the TV series yet)

Let me elaborate.

Relationships mostly do not involve equal foothold of both the partners. More often, one person out of them is the one who first “seeks” or “finds” the other. Let us say, that person is the man. He is the one who first notices the woman, begins to like her, and tries to pursue her affection. He is the seeker, who yearns for her more than she yearns for him. Even though he may be completely in love with her, yet he knows that she isn’t perfect. But he seeks Perfection. He seeks beauty, he seeks kindness, mystery, intelligence. He knows that eventually he is going to win in his pursuit of finding the perfect woman, even though that perfect woman may not be his current lover. He will never cease to seek the Perfect one. And when he finds a woman even slightly close to what he wants, he loves her and begins a relationship.

这里有一种追求者和被追求者的哲学。（我指的不是马修在《老爸老妈的浪漫史》中引用的那个，因为我还没看过那部电视剧）

我详细说明一下。

恋爱关系大多不涉及双方的平等立足点。更多的时候，他们中的一个人首先“追求”或“寻找”另一个人。比如，那个人是男人。他是最先注意到女人，开始喜欢她，并试图追求她。他是一个追求者，他对她的渴望超出了她对他的渴望。尽管他可能完全爱上了她，但他知道她并不完美。但他追求完美。他追求美丽，他追求善良、神秘、智慧。他知道最终他会在寻找完美女人的过程中获胜，尽管那个完美的女人可能不是他现在的爱人。他永远不会停止追求完美。当他发现一个女人和他想要的稍微接近时，他就会爱上她并开始一段感情。

Then, there’s the settler. The woman who initially didn’t notice the man who was paying attention and affection to her with his distant eyes. She always dreamt of someone probably different, if not better than him, as her romantic partner. However, inspite of her not being “attracted” to him initially, she begins a friendship with him. She likes him for his goodness, politeness and the way he loves her. Here, she settles for someone who isn’t as good as she had maybe dreamed of. She is tries to “repay” his “generosity of love” by loving him back.

So, what happens when love turns sour? The seeker is sorrowful and takes a few days to overcome his grief. But then he begins his life afresh and it really is not a Herculean task for him to forget the bad times. However, the settler is more than just “sorrowful”. She is broken because even though she loved him with all her heart and soul, things didn’t work out. She had finally found someone whom she was compatible with, someone who complemented her and brought out the best in her. But, this lack of “chemistry” as some would say and their difference of opinions and mindsets drifted them apart.

So, who finally is more affected by the breakup? The one who had settled for the other.

然后是被追求者。这个女人一开始并没有注意到那个男人用他遥远的目光关注和爱慕着她。她总是梦求一个可能不同甚至没有他好的人做她的浪漫伴侣。然而，尽管她最初没有被他“吸引”，但她开始和他开始建立了友谊。她喜欢他是因为他的善良、礼貌和他爱她的方式。在这里，她选择了一个不如她想象中那么好的人。她试图通过爱他来“报答”他的“慷慨的爱”。

那么，当爱情变质时会发生什么呢？追求者很悲伤，并需要几天时间来克服悲伤。但是随后他重新开始了自己的生活，对于他来说，忘记那些不好的日子确实不是一项艰巨的任务。然而，被追求者不仅仅是“悲伤”。她心碎了，因为尽管她全心全意地爱着他，但一切都没有意义。她终于找到了一个与她相配的人，一个能与她互补，并把她最好的一面展现出来的人。但是，正如某些人会说的那样， “化学反应”的缺乏，以及他们在观点和思维方式上的差异，使他们分道扬镳。

那么，谁最终更受分手的影响呢？答案是那个为另一方安顿下来的人。

5、Desh Kumar Rath, former Risk Analyst at Amazon India (2016-2019) 前亚马逊印度风险分析师（2016-2019）

Both are affected equally, but it depends on how much they allow themselves to suffer.

Imagine you are addicted to alcohol, and love a very specific brand of it . And then suddenly one day you cease to get access to the brand. What would one do?

The lover will spend his/her days in grief trying to overcome the addiction. He/She will miss and cherish the taste/ the high it gave. The person ( male/female) might even be apprehensive to get into a new brand’s addiction in fear of the same happening again. The person might get angry on the brand for shutting down abruptly or he can be understanding about the issue and stay at peace. Or the person to overcome the pain might just try a new brand in search of the same happiness he used to derive from the previous brand. It can also happen that the lover accidentally comes across a new brand and falls in love with it.

两者都受到同样的影响，但这取决于他们允许自己承受多大的痛苦。

想象一下您沉迷于酒精，并且爱上了一个非常特别的牌子。然后突然有一天你不再接触这个品牌了。你会怎么做？

爱好者会在悲伤中度过他或她的日子，试图克服对其的沉迷。他或她会怀念和珍惜它给人的那种滋味或兴奋感。这个人（男人或女人）甚至可能会因为害怕接触新品牌，以免再次上瘾。这个人可能会因为品牌突然倒闭而生气，或者他可以理解这个问题并保持平静。或者，克服痛苦的人可能会尝试一个新的品牌，以寻求与以前品牌相同的快乐。也有可能是爱好者偶然遇到一个新品牌，爱上了它。

The same goes with humans. Love is like an one on one addiction. When it breaks, it hurts for sure. It affects both the involved entities. Its supposed to affect, how can it not? But the way different people react to it and the amount of time they suffer, that is different. In majority of cases the heartbreak brings grief and suffering, followed by anger/ revenge and or lastly moving on/ peace with it.

My ex moved on within weeks of moving to a new city after breaking up, even though it looked as if she was the one to get affected exponentially during/after break up. I wasn’t much affected then but even today after two years, she still crawls into my thoughts and I loose hours of sleep thinking about what and how it happened. So who do you think got affected more?

人类也是如此。爱情就像一个人对更一个人成瘾。当它破裂时，肯定会影响到两个相关实体。它应该影响，怎么会不影响呢？但不同的人对此的反应方式和他们所遭受的痛苦时间长短是不同的。在大多数情况下，心碎会带来悲伤和痛苦，随之而来的是愤怒或报复，最后或许是继续或坦然面对。

我的前任在分手后搬到了一个新的城市，几周后就搬走了，尽管看起来她是那个在分手期间或之后受到成倍影响的人。我当时并没有受到太大的影响，但即使是两年后的今天，她仍然会进入我的脑海，我也会在睡觉时放松下来，思考发生了什么事以及是如何发生的。你认为谁受到的影响更大？

Now there are different facets to it. Who was more involved? Why did the partner chose to break away? When exactly did red flags start popping up? All these will indicate who was more affected and why was the other less.

I would end with an interesting statistic.

With the present social scenario and the skewed sex ratio we have everywhere, for every single/just broken up girl there are 4 to 5 men willing to approach her. And not the other way round. 4 to 5 men! At least one is meant to stay forever!!

它有不同的方面。谁更深陷其中？为什么对方选择分手？什么时候开始出现危险信号的？所有这些都将表明谁受到的影响更大，而另一个受到的影响则较小。

我将以一组有趣的统计数字作为结尾。

在目前的社会形势下，到处都存在性别比例失调，对于每一个单身或刚分手的女孩来说，都有4至5个男人愿意接近她。而不是相反。4至5个人！至少有一个会永远留下来！