对说“你不搞笑”最好的回答是什么？_风闻

【来源龙腾网】

评论原创翻译：

What is the best reply to ‘You aren’t funny’?

对说“你不搞笑”最好的回答是什么？

UninterestingBadger 

18 minutes of continous crying is usually my response

我通常是连续哭18分钟

SheWhoSpawnedOP 

And intense, unrelenting eye-contact

气氛紧张，然后再加毫无感情的眼神交流

Drucifer676

A loud, particularly foul smelling fart works better.

放一个大声的，特别难闻的屁效果更好。

Zjoee

I always try to make myself laugh, anyone else is just a bonus.

我总是努力让自己开怀大笑，其他人笑不笑无所谓。

MattPick

I genuinely like this.

我真的很喜欢这个。

If I cant make myself laugh first, how will I make others laugh?

如果我不能先让自己笑，我怎么能让别人笑呢？

frostbittenwinds

im not joking. 

我没开玩笑

i see you fuckers stealing my joke all over. stop it

我发现你们这些混蛋到处学我讲的笑话，停止吧

Dymarob 

There was one day when I was in High school, where from time to time I would say something, not intended to be a joke, just like observations and stuff, and this one guy kept going “You’’re not funny.” And I’’d go “I wasn’’t trying to be funny.” Because I genuinely wasn’’t. If I was trying to be funny, I’’d own up to it.

在我上高中的某有一天，我时不时地说了一些话，不是故意开玩笑的，结果有一个人不停地说，“你一点都不好笑。” 我回答说”我不是故意要搞笑的。” 。如果我真的想搞笑的话，我会承认的。

But he kept saying it whenever I said something. After like the fifth time, I genuinely shouted “I’‘M NOT TRYING TO BE FUNNY!!!”

但是每次我说话的时候他总是这么说。在他说第五次后，我真诚地喊道: “我不是在开玩笑! ! ! ”

I hated that guy.

我讨厌那家伙。

Edit: to everyone replying “you’’re not funny”, you’’re not original. I’’ve seen at least 10 different people making the joke already.

编辑: 每个人都回答“你不搞笑” ，你不是原创的。 我已经看到至少10个不同的人在开这个玩笑了。

thacod 

“Why’d the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom” “Dude that wasn’t funny” “I’m not joking”

“为什么卫生纸会从山上滚下来? 为了到达山底”“伙计，这一点都不好笑”“我没开玩笑”

Murderific

“I fucked your mom”

”我上了你妈妈”

“You aren’’t funny”

”你一点都不好笑”

“I’’m not joking”

“我不是在开玩笑”

Axicas242

“You’’re serious, aren’’t you? You’’re telling us you killed those 3 young men on the subway?”

“你是认真的，不是吗? 你说你在地铁上杀了那三个年轻人? ”

1BoiledCabbage

“Miss Coco, you’’re taking it personal, I’’m joking!”

“可可小姐，你把这当成私人恩怨了，我开玩笑的! ”

“I’‘M NOT JOKING, BITCH!”

“我不是在开玩笑，婊子! ”

LittleWhiteBoots 

Absolutely. The best comebacks to me are the ones that give off an “I don’t give a shit” vibe.

当然。我觉得最好的反驳就是制造一副“我不在乎”的架势。

_Trinima_ 

I use this one quite often.

我以前经常这么做。

Tortuga629

that ones my favorite

这是我最喜欢做的事情

NoodleSaidSo 

This is my response to pretty much everything actually

实际上，这是我对几乎所有事情的反应

Nick_645 

This might be the highest upvotes time effort ratio of all time.

这可能是有史以来支持率最高的评论。

michael_am 

Gotta do it with a big hint of confusion too

还要带着一丝困惑

“Ok….?

“好吧… … ？

darybrain 

Then what would you say after that person has left and you thought about it for 30 minutes?

那么当那个人离开后，你会说什么，你想了30分钟？

MarsNirgal 

Jesus Christ.

上帝啊。

Aironpa

I don’’t get this one

我不明白你的意思

Rayei1

This would absolutely not work in real life under any context.

这在现实生活中绝对不会起任何作用。

Rantarian 

We can’’t all get a laugh just by dropping our pants.

我们不能仅仅通过脱掉裤子来使别人大笑。

HuffTehMagikDragoon 

This and your parents one are the best

这个和你的父母的那个回答是最好的答案

TheSecularGlass 

YOU arent funny…

“你一点都不好笑… ..。

…Got’’em

知道了

fizziebutter 

Haha great one

哈哈，太棒了

therealyumyum

No that’s not how it’s suppose to work

不，事情不该是这样的

napoleonsolo

So anyway, how’s your sex life?

无所谓，那你的性生活怎么样？

AuntBettysNutButter

What a story, Mark!

真是个好故事，马克！

KageG213

Certainly not a shitty joke you’’ll get out of Reddit comments.

能上红迪网的，肯定不是一个低劣的笑话。

-Manu_ 

You’’re not funny

你一点都不好笑

IXInsaneJamesXI

Ooo I’ll use this one next time

下次我会用这个

FarFun1

Of course I’’m not funny. I’’m Dad

我当然不搞笑，因为我是你爸爸

DarkRoseXoX 

I bloody despise you at the moment, well done dad.

我现在非常鄙视你，干得好，爸爸。

JonArbuckleiscute 

I feel like this would just create an awkward silence if it was just two people having this conversation

我觉得如果只有两个人在交谈，这么问会造成一种尴尬的沉默

_for_the_memes 

Now this, this is my fave comment

这是我最喜欢的评论

Milkybootyhole69

Not a good response

这不是一个好的回答

SuperMarioGuy4

r/dadjokes

爸爸的那个笑话

Bigdikmic

If I wanted tips on how to make a joke I’’d ask your parents

如果我想知道如何开玩笑，我会问你的父母的

Bigdikmic

Glad so many people like this it came to me when I was having a fake argument with myself

很高兴有这么多人喜欢我的评论，当我和自己假装争吵的时候，我想到了这个答案

73177138585296

This would work if people already thought you were funny. If people think you’’re annoying and unfunny, this will make them think you’’re more annoying and unfunny.

如果人们认为你很有趣的话，这个方法就会奏效。 如果人们认为你很烦人而且不好笑，这会让他们觉得你更烦人而且更不好笑。

arquemusic 

Holy fuck

我操

TannedCroissant 

“Ughhh…. not funny Dad”

“呃… … 不好笑，爸爸”

food_is_crack 

things like this are why you guys get told you arent funny

这就是为什么有人说你们不好笑

theginger411 

But then the person could reply back “you’re welcome“

但是那个人可能会回复“不客气”

themanyfaceasian

If you’re in public, loudly say, “At least I don’t make out with my sister”

如果你在公共场合，大声回答说，“至少我没有和我妹妹亲热”

hopefully77 

This cracked me up. This ones my favorite

你成功把我逗笑了，这是我最喜欢的答案

原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.com 翻译：ycb1990 转载请注明出处

Autski 

Or, “NO THANK YOU, SIR, I DO NOT CARE TO WATCH ORGY PORNOGRAPHY.”

或者说，“不，谢谢你，先生，我不想看色情片。”

peopleshouldbenicer 

That’’d go down horribly. They’’d look at you weird and then say “good one einstein”

那就太糟糕了，他们会用奇怪的眼光看着你，然后说”好一个爱因斯坦”

812many

“They really are the worst twins ever.”

“他们真是有史以来最糟糕的双胞胎。”

EhIsForCanehdians

In all seriousness, that’’s not a very good comeback.

严肃地说，这不是一个很好的反击。

Everyone would just think you’’re an awkward person.

每个人都会认为你是个尴尬的人。

skalpelis

At least I don’’t hitch a ride to Bratislava when I want to go to Berlin.

至少我想去柏林的时候不会搭便车去伯拉第斯拉瓦。

agumonkey 

self-five woh yeah

自我击掌，说“哦耶”

JAMES_ATE_MY_WAFFLES 

“Fuck you.”

“去你妈的。”

HacksawJimDGN 

This is the only one that would actually work in a real conversation.

这是唯一一个在真实对话中起作用的方法。

Beetin 

You want to say “fuck you” without taking the bait though (You aren’’t funny is 99% trying to provoke). Trying to make a “witty” response just lets them double down. You want to be unaffected and also disappointed in them.

你想说“去你妈的”却不想上他们的当(说你不搞笑，99%都是在挑衅)。试图做出一个“机智”的回答只会让他们加倍努力嘲笑你。你希望自己不受影响，同时想表达对他们感到失望。

“Oh, you are one of those people”

“哦，原来你也是那种人”

“Wow, that is some high school / immature shit right there”

”哇，你真是个不成熟的高中生”

If you are an adult, just be the bigger person, and either shrug it off, or at most point out how immature/socially unaware it is to say that to people.

如果你是一个成年人，就做一个大度的人，要么耸耸肩，要么最多指出对别人说这些话是多么不成熟和不尊重。

If you are a teenager, good luck, everyone kind of sucks!

如果你是一个青少年，那么祝你好运，每个人多少都有点坏！

XaWEh

Or the alternative from a previous AskReddit question :" Bless your heart " or " I hope you have a wonderful day"

或者从之前的 AskReddit 问题中选择一个: “保佑你”或“我希望你有一个美好的一天”

aforementionedapples 

Then, they come back with “Do it yourself, coward!”

然后，他们反击说: “你自己动手吧，懦夫! ”

What then?

然后呢？

Jorjie0104

“Your mom”

”你妈妈”

Idliketothinkimsmart 

“Lol ok”

“哈哈，好吧”

legendofzella

Do you actually say “lol” in person?

你真的当面说“ lol”吗？

TheFischschtick 

“If you can’’t beat em, eat em.” -Jeffrey Dahmer the people nommer

“如果你不能打败他们，就吃掉他们。”——杰弗里 · 达默

WankSpanksoff

“And you aren’t tactful”

”你不够圆滑”

uselessfork19

then why is my life such a fucking joke

为什么我的生活就是个笑话

AdvocateSaint

I remember taking an exam in an Intro to Italian class

我记得在意大利语入门课上参加了一次考试

In the sentence construction part, we had to write about our classmates.

在句子结构部分，我们要求必须写我们的同学。

I mistakenly chose to use “scherzo” instead of “divertente,” so instead of saying “Dwight is funny,” I wrote

我错误地选择了“谐谑曲”而不是“ divertente” ，所以我没有说“ Dwight 很有趣” ，而是写道

“Dwight is a joke.”

“ Dwight是个笑话。”

My professor’’s big red question marks on that item almost made it worth it

我的教授在那个问题上留下了一个大大的红色问号，让这一切都值了

FATFACEFREAK52

I used to say this, but one of my friends always replied with something along the lines of, “it can’’t be because a joke has meaning.” :(

我过去常常这么说，但是我的一个朋友总是这样回答我: “这不可能，因为笑话是有意义的。” :(

原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.com 翻译：ycb1990 转载请注明出处

Dharmsara 

This sounds better in Jim Jeffries’ voice

如果用吉姆 · 杰弗里斯的声音说这句话，效果会更好

pansexualsquirrl 

Tell me how to be funny then

那么告诉我怎样才能变得有趣

MyPpHurts-Help 

So this scientist turns himself into a pickle…

所以这个科学家把自己变成了泡菜。

InItsTeeth

…but I am funny looking

但我长得很滑稽呀

Undecided_User_Name 

That’’s part of my pick up line.

这是我搭讪语的一部分。

“Hey, I’’m both funny and funny looking, so I know I’’ll make you laugh.”

“嘿，我谈吐有趣，而且长得也有趣，所以我能让你开怀大笑。”

OneAttentionPlease 

You are free to leave.

你可以走了。

phasers_to_stun 

Yea I know (then start crying)

是的，我知道(然后开始哭)

Captain_borf

I know. I just don’t care.

我知道，但我不在乎。

Charles520 

This is probably the best response.

这可能是最佳回答。

GIBBEEEHHH 

This… Is actually the best response in here. This opened my eyes a lot. Thanks

这可能是最佳回答，真让我大开眼界。谢谢

XBxnjxminX

You’’re not funny

你一点都不好笑

totallynot14_ 

this is going to take a really long time to say

这需要很长时间来说明

73177138585296

This is the only good response in this thread

这是这个话题唯一好的回应

imjusthere4thelolz 

I don’t have a good reply to this. If it’s said to me, I just kinda chuckle and say, “yeah.” As in “yeah, you’re right.”

对此我没有一个很好的回答。如果有人这样对我说，我只是轻声笑着说，“是的。” 就像”是的，你说得对”

Uearie 

Same. I say either that or “I know.”

一样，我要么像你这么说，要么说“我知道”

TheInnsmouthLook 

“You’’re not nice”

”你一点都不友好”

softlumar

I like this. Just guilt out the person

我喜欢这样，可以让对方感到内疚

Abramabundiz

If it gets to that point you must have annoyed someone with some annoying ass shit lol

如果对方真的这么说了，你一定说了一些让对方惹恼的话

LSDeeznutz419

Well, looks aren’’t everything!

好吧，外表不是一切！

Blarf100

Fair enough.

有道理。

aKnightWh0SaysNi 

“I know, I have so much trouble with humor that I have to ask in forum posts for witty comebacks.”

“我知道，我缺乏幽默感，所以我在论坛帖子中请求提高幽默感的秘诀。”

ruebeus421

In this thread: a lot of unfunny people.

在这个帖子里很有多不好笑的人。

Cthulhu_Ferrigno 

post that says to yell “at least i don’’t make out with my sister” at about 8000 upvotes. what the fuck.

上面那条”至少我不会和我妹妹亲热”的评论得到8000个赞。搞什么。

juju005 

Yeah the only good ones i saw were “thanks” and “i already know” like???

是啊，我看到的唯一好的回答就是”谢谢”和”我已经知道了” ，就像..？

SongsNotSung 

“I wasn’’t trying to be.”

“我不是故意的。”

Nufi0us

“yeah well the jerk store called and they’’re running out of you”

”是啊，那个混蛋商店打电话来了，他们快把你卖光了”

Rav4xle

“What’’s the difference? You’’re their all-time best seller!”

“这两句话有什么区别? 你是他们卖的最火的商品! ”

official_fox_news 

I was a comedian for a few years. After a show a girl hit me with “You aren’’t funny.”, I hit back with “And you aren’’t pretty - but at least I have the option to talk about the weather.”

我做过几年喜剧演员。演出结束后，一个女孩对我说: “你一点都不好笑。” 我反击到“你还不漂亮呢——但至少我可以选择谈论天气。”

HausOfCheeks 

I see you’re still not funny

我看你还是一点都不好笑

PM_ME_UR_PUPPYDOGS 

Judging by your response, I think I’d probably agree with her. Because that comeback definitely isn’t funny and doesn’t even work properly.

从你的反应来看，我想我可能会同意她的看法。 因为这样的反击绝对不好笑，还起不到什么效果。

Wagnaard 

yes, I am.

是的，我就是不搞笑。

DieDonerbruderschaft 

HELL TO YOU

见鬼去吧

chewymilk02

Man it’s painful to see so many people pretend to be witty. These are bad

看到这么多人假装机智真让人痛苦，这些回答都不好

Phoduck

Well, you just missed a perfect opportunity to stay silent.

你刚刚错过了一个保持沉默的绝佳机会。

DrivenToDarkness

“Tell me something I don’t already know”

”告诉我一些我不知道的事情”

ReaBubbz

Just start crying and talk about your horrible childhood. They always seem to apologize so it works for me

开始哭泣，然后谈论你可怕的童年。他们似乎每次都想要道歉，这对我很有用

原创翻译：龙腾网 http://www.ltaaa.com 翻译：ycb1990 转载请注明出处

typeyhands

Uncontrollable sobbing?

无法控制的哭泣？

910215ismyusername 

I’m sorry. You can spank me now, daddy.

对不起，你可以打我屁股了，爸爸。

coolbutnerdy 

I know. I tried.

我知道，我已经很努力了。

Greenkeeper132

That’’s just sad.

太可悲了。

jh937hfiu3hrhv9 

Cold stare, pregnant pause, change subject.

冷漠的凝视，停顿，最后转移话题。

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