外国人撞上“中国谦虚”：火辣辣的尴尬，至今还记得..._风闻

中华文化博大精深，人与人之间的关系可谓是讲究颇多，其中，最引人注目的莫过于“谦逊文化”。

诸如“才疏学浅”、“何德何能”此类的推辞，可谓融入了中国人的骨子里。

显然，中国此种与西方欧美社会强调“争取”的文化传统是格格不入的，那么，对于这种中国所特有的文化，西方社会又是如何看待的？

1、Tom McGregor

Yes, the Chinese are humble and it’s not an act. Hence, the biggest culture shock I had when first arriving in Beijing in 2010 was to discover that the Chinese remain determined to appear humble and do not appreciate braggarts.

是的，中国人是谦虚的，而且不是装出来的。所以2010年我第一到北京时所遇到的最大文化冲击就是发现中国人依然保持谦虚并且不喜欢吹牛的人。

2、Natasha

I am American, born and raised in Texas, but spent some some time in Washington D.C. as a child while studying at college in New Hampshire. So when talking with my fellow Americans when I lived there, we spent at least 80 percent of our conversations bragging about ourselves or people we knew, while it was commonly understood that our stories might not be so accurate but that’s OK.

我是美国人，在德州出生和长大，但是儿时在华盛顿特区度过了一段时间，在新罕布什尔州读大学。所以在美国时我和朋友们聊天80%都是在吹嘘我们自己或者我们认识的人，而且我们都清楚对方说的事情可能没有那么准确，但是这没关系。

For a long time, I thought the whole world was like us: so fond of highlighting their wealth and relationships, but until last year, the idea changed: I went to Shanghai, China, where the Chinese were very friendly, but an ordinary smiling person might be a billionaire!

很长一段时间，我以为整个世界都像我们一样：那么喜欢突出他们的财富和关系，但直到去年，这个想法还是变了：我去了中国上海，那里的中国人非常友好，但是一个普通的微笑的人可能是亿万富翁！

3、George Kate（回复Natasha）

To be honest, although your story reflects some facts, it is not absolute. You may be an elderly Chinese. Today’s young Chinese are not much different from us. They are more self-publicity and self-expression. Of course, I can’t guarantee whether they will become the same person as their parents when they are old enough.

老实讲，虽然你讲的故事反映出了一些事实，但是并不是绝对，你说的或许可能是上了年纪的中国人，如今的中国年轻人和我们已经没有多少区别了，他们更加的张扬和表现自我，当然，在他们年龄足够大之后，是否会变成自己父母一样的人，我不敢保证！

Perhaps, this is the power of culture. The change of a Chinese friend witnessed all this. Once he was just as unrestrained and free as us. But when his father died, he put on his suit and gave up hip-hop. In his silent eyes, I saw only one friend who could not guess，Damn it. Just last week, he praised me！

也许，这就是文化的力量。中国朋友的变化见证了这一切。他曾经和我们一样无拘无束。但父亲去世后，他穿上西装，放弃了嘻哈。在他沉默的眼神里，我只看到一个猜不透的朋友，该死的，就在上周他竟然夸赞了我！

4、Miami Hunter（回复George Kate）

You don’t have to worry about it. Your friends have to make these changes in order to shoulder the burden of family.

你不用担心（这些变化）。你的朋友必须做出这些改变，以承担家庭的负担。

Compared with men in Western society, the responsibilities and obligations of men in Chinese society are extensive and heavy, which makes them have to be more restrained and calm!

与西方社会的男人相比，中国社会男人的责任和义务是广泛而沉重的，这使得他们不得不更加克制和冷静！

Consequently, arrogant people can cause disruptions, since people are expected to fulfill their promises. When a braggart claims he will introduce others to rich and powerful friends for everyone’s benefit, but fails to accomplish that because he was not speaking truth; then he will find himself and shunned by others.

自大的人会带来破坏，因为人们被期望履行承诺。如果一个人吹牛说将为他人引荐富有而有权的朋友，从而给所有人带来好处，可最终他没能实现这个诺言，因为他撒谎了吹牛了；那么他人就会远离他。

Humility is effective by sparking action. A braggart lives in his own fantasy world, while lies and false promises don’t matter much to his ego.

谦逊通过行动来证明。而一个吹牛的人生活在自己的幻想世界里，谎言和虚假的承诺对于他的自我而言是无关紧要的。

Therefore, modesty is a sign of a person’s maturity, and when he embodies in a national culture, it means that the nation’s “collective maturity”, of course, this is in line with the fact that Chinese civilization is the most mature civilization in the world, she has been for thousands of years!

因此，谦虚是一个人成熟的标志，当他体现在一个民族文化中时，就意味着这个民族的“集体成熟”，当然，这也符合中华文明是世界上最成熟的文明的事实，她已经几千年了！

5、Nora Chepel

Well stated. Infact, we in the west need to step back and learn from the Chinese, rather than us expecting them the adopt our attitudes. Living in harmony, we all need more of that

说的好。实际上，我们西方人应该停下来向中国人学习，而不是期望他们来学习我们的态度。和谐生活，这是我们所需要的。

6、Corey Tournet

It really depends on the person you are dealing with. I know one factory owner who is very successful and humble, his employees love him for it. Also have some really good friends there who are down to earth. But there are also people who are definitely not humble, who try to impress others with their social status and wealth.

这要看你遇到了什么人。我认识一个工厂主，他非常成功和谦虚，他的员工都很喜欢他这一点。我也有一些中国好朋友，他们非常务实。但是也有不谦虚的人，炫耀自己的社会地位和财富。

If you don’t know the language or culture, you might at first falsely assume it’s a much more humble culture…because it’s a high context culture where a lot of things aren’t said but everyone knows the meaning.

如果你不了解中国的语言和文化，你可能会错误的以为中国文化更加谦虚，因为中国文化是一种高语境的文化，很多事情没有明说，但是大家心知肚明。

One piece of advice I’d give to foreigners in China, keep your eyes open and take time to learn the culture at a much deeper level before making these kinds of assumptions. There are a lot of people who go there for a 2 week vacation and come back with strong opinions thinking they know how things work there.

我要给在中国的外国人一个建议，那就是在作出这类的假设之前，先打开你的眼界，花时间深入学习一下中国文化。很多人去中国玩个两周，回来后就强烈的认为自己很了解中国了。

7、Trisomy

Yes, I strongly agree with you. I have lived in China for eight years, which has taught me many ways of expression and thinking with Chinese characteristics. Generally speaking, the “Eastern Implicit Beauty” embodied in the Chinese people lies in a conventional understanding.

是的，我非常同意你的看法。我在中国生活了八年，这教会了我许多有中国特色的表达和思考方式。总的来说，中国人所体现的“东方含蓄美”在于一种传统的理解。

For example, when I was working on my first day, my colleague politely asked me how to fix dinner. I honestly answered no, and then he invited me to his house for dinner, and then I really went

例如，当我第一天工作时，我的同事礼貌地问我如何安排晚餐。我诚实地回答不，然后他邀请我去他家吃饭，然后我真的去了。

I didn’t feel the slightest discomfort at that time. I just thought it was the warmth and friendship among my colleagues. Until one day I found out that the way my Chinese colleagues greeted each other was “Have you eaten”?

当时我一点也不觉得不舒服。我只是觉得是同事之间的热情和友谊。直到有一天我发现我的中国同事互相问候的方式是“你吃了吗”？

8、Luke Miers

I used to be the president of a French University in China. I met some very influential Chinese people. From their behavior, you can’t see that many of them are millionaires. God, they may have more employees than my students, but they are not arrogant about it. They always sit at the table drinking tea, smiling and chatting about each other’s family and life. My Chinese wife explained to me that in traditional Chinese culture, to show others their wealth and rights at will is Foolish

我曾经是中国一所法国大学的校长。我遇到了一些很有影响力的中国人。从他们的行为，你看不出他们中有很多是百万富翁。天哪，他们的雇员可能比我的学生还多，但他们对此并不傲慢。他们总是坐在桌边喝茶，微笑着谈论彼此的家庭和生活。我的中国妻子向我解释说，在中国传统文化中，随意向别人展示自己的财富和权利是愚蠢的！

9、cultivator

Yes, in retrospect of my boasting when I first came to China, I still feel my face is burning. Chinese people seem to be very good at making people “humble”. When you start boasting, everyone will laugh and ignore you. Until you stop boasting sincerely enough, people will choose to communicate with you again. They seem to be born not to like boasters.

是的，回想我第一次来中国时的自夸，我仍然觉得脸上热辣辣的。中国人似乎很善于让人“谦虚”。当你开始自夸的时候，每个人都会笑着不理你。直到你不再吹嘘，人们才会选择再次与你沟通。他们似乎天生不喜欢吹牛。

不可否认，对于外国网友“cultivator”曾经所面临的文化冲击，即使只是听其述说，从字里行间里老铁依旧能够感受到一股浓浓的“尴尬”。

中国有句俗语说得好：

上什么山，打什么柴；进什么庙，念什么经。

因此，对于那些旅居中国的外国朋友们，老铁有这样一个建议：彰显个性固然可贵，可是你所站立的地方叫做中国，该收敛的要收敛，该注意的需注意….

否则，最后尴尬的不止是自己，还有周边的中国人！