奥巴马白宫记者会上演自嘲秀总统任期多磨难（视频）

2014-05-05

5月3日，美国总统奥巴马出席一年一度的白宫记者协会晚宴（White House Correspondents Dinner, WHCD）。一年一度的白宫记者协会晚宴不仅是各路媒体欢聚一堂的盛宴，也是被媒体吐槽了整年的总统报仇雪恨的机会。晚宴上，奥巴马拿自己、共和党人和媒体“开涮”，网友调侃其是“段子手奥巴马”。虽是自嘲，却也真实反映了奥巴马总统任上几多不易。

奥巴马上演自嘲秀，似笑非笑

奥巴马先自嘲了医保网站、支持率和NSA等糗事，然后对着CNN、MSNBC和福克斯新闻挨个开火，又把保守派大佬们黑了个遍。

“这些天，共和党人对付博纳比对我狠多了，或许橙色真的是一种流行色。”奥巴马如此调侃总对自己放炮的众议长博纳。（博纳日前因晒日光浴把自己晒成了橙色而非古铜色被媒体嘲笑）。

奥巴马调侃了在大选时强调他出生于肯尼亚的福克斯电视台，“福克斯，等我卸任你们一定会想我，因为让美国人相信希拉里出生在肯尼亚一定更难。”

奥巴马还拿自己重磅推出却漏洞百出的医保网站开涮，称医保网站的进展，可以用本年度最卖座的电影《冰雪奇缘》来形容，所谓“Frozen”（《冰雪奇缘》的英文原名，意为“冻结”）。

因为医保网站常无法登录，奥巴马调侃说，“2008年，我的口号是‘是的，我们能行！’，2014年，我的口号是‘Control-Alt-Delete’（电脑重启）。”

观察者网小编在微博看到，中国网友看完奥巴马演讲的视频以后调侃称“初以为是新进的单口艺人”“奥巴马卸任后的主业就是段子手”，还有网友感慨“真看出来不用再参加选举了，各种开炮”。

今年是白宫记者协会成立100周年。该晚宴又称“书呆子舞会”，由总统偕第一夫人、新闻媒体代表及两党政治人物参加，还会邀请一些喜剧明星演讲，演讲内容多是对重大政治事件和当红政客的嘲弄讥讽。

奥巴马白宫记者协会晚宴上演自嘲秀（网友@谷大白话翻译）

白宫发布28页报告夸耀奥巴马众议长称哗众取宠

据美国“国会山”网站报道，美国总统奥巴马4月3日发布了一份名为“行动年”的议程文件，并在当天的例行周末广播和网络讲话中，极力夸耀自己今年以来促进经济的政绩。

这份文件长达28页，列举了奥巴马将在2014年内采取的24项行政措施。其中包括：奥巴马提高最低工资和让女性劳动者获得平等报酬的努力，已经促使马里兰和夏威夷等州立法机关提高了这些州的最低工资水平，他努力吸引更多的高科技企业在美创造就业岗位，还鼓励私人投资扩大学校教育的互联网覆盖、为制造业工人设立培训机构等。

白宫在新闻稿中说：“当国会共和党人正在前所未有地设置障碍，甚至不惜让联邦政府关门、50多次试图否决医改法案，并反对给辛勤劳作的美国人加薪时，总统仍在努力改善美国人的状况。”白宫国家经济委员会主任津茨也夸赞道，奥巴马的“行动年”议程“就像咖啡因一样正在刺激着投资”。

然而，美国众议院议长、共和党人博纳的发言人以“哗众取宠”形容奥巴马的“行动年”议程，称“当众议院共和党人通过一项又一项就业法案时，奥巴马却在花时间去分裂美国人，把党派考量置于发展经济之前”。

“国会山”网站认为，白宫自我表功的行为，不仅激起共和党人的反对，而且也会激起部分民主党支持者的不满。比如，移民权益人士屡次向白宫施压，要求减缓将非法移民驱逐出境的步伐，但白宫迄今为止尚未宣布任何行政命令。

对于白宫来说，最大的麻烦恐怕还是这份“行动年”议程没能提高奥巴马的支持率。《华盛顿邮报》最新发布的一项民调显示，奥巴马的支持率只有41%，是他入主白宫5年多来的最低点。5月2日发布的统计数字显示，美国的失业率降至6.3%，是2008年9月以来的最低水平。但《华盛顿邮报》民调显示，只有42%的受访者肯定奥巴马处理经济的方式。这一认可度比上次中期选举前（2010年10月）发布的民调结果还要糟糕，而民主党在当年的选举中惨败。

由于奥巴马无法将行政努力转化为政治资本，因此也无力推动国会山的立法行动，包括提高最低工资、失业保险、移民改革等获得广泛支持的立法实际都悬而未决。《基督教科学箴言报》评论说，任期还剩下两年多的奥巴马极力兜售“行动年”计划，意在显示自己并非已成“跛脚鸭”。然而，糟糕的支持率很可能在今年底的中期选举中把更多共和党人送入国会两院，届时奥巴马的跛脚状态只会更加明显。

《华盛顿邮报》刊登了奥巴马演讲英文稿。

Thank You. Thank you so much.Thank you very much. Thank you. Everyone, please have a seat. Have a seat.

Before I get started, can we getthe new presidential set up out here? [Laughter] It has worked before.[Laughter] That is more like it.

It is great to be back. What ayear, huh? I usually start these dinners with a few self-deprecating jokes.After my stellar 2013, what can I possibly talk about? [Laughter]

I admit it — last year was rough.Sheesh. [Laughter]

At one point, things got so bad,the 47 percent called Mitt Romney to apologize. [Laughter]

Of course, we rolled outHealthcare.gov. That could have gone better. [Laughter]

In 2008, my slogan was “Yes, wecan.” In 2013, my slogan was “Control, alt, delete.” [Laughter]

On the plus side, they did turnthe launch of Healthcare.gov into one of the year’ s biggest movies. [Laughter]But rather than dwell on the past, I would like to pivot to this dinner.

Let’s welcome our headliner thisevening, Joel McHale. [Applause] On “Community,” Joel plays a preening,self-obsessed narcissist, so this dinner must be a real change of pace for you.[Laughter] I want to thank the White House Correspondents Association forhosting us here tonight. I am happy to be here, even though I am a littlejet-lagged from my trip to Malaysia. The lengths we have to go to to get CNNcoverage these days. [Laughter] [applause]

I think they are still searchingfor their tables. [Laughter] [applause]

MSNBC is here. [Applause] They are a little overwhelmed. They’ve never seen an audience this big before.[Laughter]

Look, everyone is trying to keepup with this incredibly fast-changing media landscape. For example, I got a lotof grief on cable news for promoting Obamacare to young people on “Between TwoFerns.” But that’s what young people like to watch. And to be fair, I am notthe first person on television between two potted plants. [Laughter] [applause]

Sometimes I do feel disrespectedby you reporters. But that’s OK. Seattle Seahawks’ cornerback Richard Shermanis here tonight, and he gave me some great tips on how to handle it. JakeTapper, don’t you ever talk about me like that! I am the best president in thegame! What do you think, Richard, was that good? [Laughter] A little more feelingnext time. [Laughter]

While we are talking sports, justlast month, a wonderful story. An American won the Boston Marathon for thefirst time in 30 years. [Applause] Which was inspiring and only fair since aKenyan has been president for the last six. We have to even things out.

We have some other athletes heretonight, including Olympic snowboarding gold medalist Jamie Anderson is here.We are proud of her. Incredibly talented young lady. Michelle and I watch theOlympics, we cannot believe what these folks do. Death-defying feats. Wehaven’t seen somebody pull a 180 that fast since Rand Paul disinvitied thatdisgruntled rancher from this dinner. [laughter]

As a general rule, things don’tend well if the sentence starts, “Let me tell you something I know about thenegro.” You don’t really need to hear the rest of it. [Laughter] Just a tip foryou. Don’ t start your sentence that way. [Laughter]

Speaking of Rand Paul, —[laughter] Colorado legalized marijuana this year. An interesting social experiment.I do hope it does not lead to a bunch of paranoid people who think the federalgovernment is out to get them and listening to their phone calls. [Laughter]That would be a problem. [Laughter]

And speaking of conservativeheroes, the Koch brothers bought a table here tonight. But they used a shadowyright-wing organization as a front. Hello, Fox News. [Laughter] [applause] I’mjust kidding. Let’s face it, Fox, you’ l miss me when I’ m gone. [Laughter] Itwill be harder to convince the American people that Hillary was born in Kenya.[Laughter] [applause]

A lot of us really are concernedabout the way that money is influencing our politics. I remember when a superpack with me was buying Marlboro 100s instead of regulars. [Laughter] Ofcourse, now that it is 2014, Washington is obsessed on the midterms. Folks aresaying that with my sagging poll numbers, my fellow democrats don’t really wantme campaigning with them. I don’t think that is true, although I did notice theother day that Sasha needed a speaker at career day and she invited BillClinton. [Laughter] I was a little hurt by that.

Both sides are doing whatever ittakes to win. The ruthless game. Republicans — this is a true story.Republicans actually brought in a group consultant to teach their candidateshow to speak to women. This is true. I don’t know if it’ll work for women, butI understand America’s teenage boys are signing up to run for the Senate indroves. [Laughter] [applause]

Anyway, while you guys focus onthe horse race, I’m going to do what I do. I will be focused on everydayAmericans. Just yesterday I read a heartbreaking letter. I get letters fromfolks around the country every day. I get 10 that I read. This one got me. AVirginia man who’s been stuck in the same part-time job for years. No respectfrom his boss. There was no chance to get ahead. I really wish Eric Cantorwould stop writing me. You can just pick up the phone, Eric. [Laughter][applause]

I am feeling sorry, believe it and not, for the Speaker of the House. These days, the House Republicans give John Boehner a harder time than they give me. Which means orange really is thenew black. [Laughter] [applause]

But I have not given up the ideaof working with Congress. In fact, two weeks ago, Senator Ted Cruz and I, wegot a bill done together and I have to say the signing ceremony was somethingspecial. We got a picture of it I think. [Laughter]

Look, I know. Washington seemsmore dysfunctional than ever. Gridlock has gotten so bad in this town, you haveto wonder what did we do to piss off Chris Christie so bad? [Laughter]

One issue, for example, wehaven’t been able to agree on is unemployment insurance. Republicans continueto refuse to extend it. You know what, I am beginning to think they have apoint. If you don’t want to get paid while not working, you should have to runfor Congress just like everybody else. [Laughter] [applause]

There is one thing that keepsRepublicans busy. They have tried more than 50 times to repeal Obamacare.Despite that, 8 million people signed up for healthcare in the first openenrollment. [Applause] Which does lead one to ask, how well does Obamacare haveto work before you don’t want to repeal it? What if everyone’s cholesteroldrops to 120? What if your yearly checkup came with tickets to a Clippers’game? Not the old Donald Sterling Clippers, the new Oprah Clippers. What if itgave Mitch McConnell a pulse? What is it going to take?

Anyway, this year I have promisedto use more executive actions to get things done without Congress. My criticscall this the imperial presidency. Truth is I just show up every day at myoffice and do my job. We have a picture of this, I think? [Laughter] [applause]

You would think they wouldappreciate a more assertive approach, considering that the new conservativedarling is non other than Vladimir Putin. Last year, Pat Buchanan said Putin’sheaded straight for the Nobel Peace Prize. He said this. Now I know it soundscrazy but to be fair they give those to just about anybody these days. It couldhappen. [Laughter] [applause]

But it’s not just Pat, RudyGiuliani said, “Putin is what you would call a leader. Mike Huckabee and ShawnHannity keep talking about his bare chest, which is kind of weird. [Laughter][applause] Look it up. They talk about it a lot. [Laughter]

It is strange to think that Ihave just two and a half years left in this office. Everywhere I look there arereminders that I only hold this job temporarily. [Laughter] But, it is a longtime between now and 2016. And anything can happen. You may have heard theother day that Hillary had to dodge a flying shoe at a press conference.[Laughter]

I love that picture.

Regardless of what happens, I’verun my last campaign. I’m beginning to think about my legacy. Some of you knowthat Mayor Rahm Emanuel recently announced that he’s naming a high school afterme in Chicago. I was even more flattered to hear that Rick Perry, who is heretonight, is doing the same thing in Texas. Take a look. [Laughter] Thank you,Rick. It means a lot to me.

I intend to enjoy all the freetime that I will have. George W. Bush took up painting after he left office. Itinspired me to take up own artistic side. I am sure we have a shot of this.Maybe not. The joke does not work without the slide. [Laughter] Oh well. Assumethat it was funny. [Laughter] Does this happen to you Joel? It does, OK.

On a serious note, tonightreminds us that we are lucky to live in a country where reporters can give ahead of state a hard time on a daily basis. And once a year give him or her thechance at least to return the favor. We also know that not every journalist orphotographer or crew member is so fortunate. Even as we celebrate the freepress tonight, our thoughts are with those in places around the globe likeUkraine and Afghanistan and Syria and Egypt. People who risk everything. Insome cases even give their lives to report the news. And what tonight alsoreminds us is that the fight for full and fair access goes beyond the chance toask a question.

As Steve mentioned, decades agoan African-American who wanted to cover his or her president might be barredfrom journalism school. Burdened by Jim Crow. And once in Washington bannedfrom press conferences. After years of effort, black editors and publishersbegan meeting with FDR’s press secretary, Steve Irving(此处应为Stephen Early). Theymet with the president himself, who declared that a black reporter would get acredential. Even when Harry McAlpin made history as the first African-Americanto attend a presidential news conference, he was not always welcomed by theother reporters. But he was welcomed by the president, who told him, “I’m gladto see you McAlpin.” I’m very happy to have you here.” Now that sentiment mighthave worn off once Harry asked him a question or two. And Harry’s battlescontinued, but he made history. We are so proud of Sherman and his family forbeing here tonight and the White House Correspondents Association for creatingthe scholarship in Harry’s name. [Applause] For over 100 years, even as theWhite House Correspondents Association has told the story of America’sprogress, you’ve lived it too. Gradually allowing equal access to women,minorities, gays and Smericans with disabilities. Yes, radio and television andInternet reporters as well. Through it all you’ve helped make sure that even associeties change, our fundamental commitment to the interaction between thosewho govern and those who ask questions doesn’t change. And as Jay will attest,it’s a legacy that you carry on enthusiastically every single day. Because thisis the 100th anniversary of the Correspondents Association, I actually recordedan additional brief video thanking you for all your hard work. Can we run thevideo?

What is going on? I was told thiswould work. Does anybody know how to fix this? Thank you. [Laughter] Do youhave it?

Kathleen Sebelius: I got this. Isee it all the time. There. That should work.

Congratulations to the WhiteHouse Correspondents. Here is to 100 more years.

Thank you very much, everybody..Bless you. [Applause] [laughter] [laughter] [applause]

（观察者网综合环球时报、华盛顿邮编、新浪微博等消息）